kepusingan

GOOD NIGHT.

it's been a while. how are you guys? whoever reads this, you should say "fine" instead of "so-so" why? it's because i need to know that everyone is fine, just like me, i'm fine :-)

i've been tearing my hair out for a couple of days. i just don't know what to say, i just don't understand what happened. it's a kind of silly, well, perhaps. what will you do if you get attached to someone so much? everything depends on someone. what will you do to handle that feeling of loosing them? though you're already attached to them so much.... SUCK.

my friend said to me that if there's someone comes into your life and changes everything, every single thing through your life and gets closer to you step by step, probably he/she has a chance to get into your heart (re:you're falling in love with them.)

falling in love is breath-taking. it's like riding a roller coaster. once you get up, once you get down. unpredictable. yes. it's unpredictable that we can't stop thinking about what will probably happen in next 1 or 2 or 3 months. it's easy to be happy but easier to get upset! i don't understand what things or stuffs through boy's mind... i always think that they're the most unpredictable and silly creatures in the whole of universe.

"In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?

Was it fate that brought us close and now leave me behind?" 

the text above is just a part of one of Final Fantasy OST which is my favorite. i love the japanese version instead of english version. but, tonight i'm in sumpah-galau-sumpah situation so i listen to that song and reply it again, waiting to be bored. 

girls, boys, all creatures in this universe, hello, i broke up with my ex bf last month and now i still can't stop thinking of him. it doesn't mean that i haven't moved on yet. well, i still feel like the pathetic one who is tearing apart because of an epic thing. he could easily forget me, forget us, all things and stuffs we've done together through this past 18 months. oh dear, don't get overconfident after reading this, i just think that i'm too stupid for dragging my feet whether to let go easily or let go hard. what let go hard means that i let go without trying to ignore you, without being to obsessed. perhaps i'll let you go hard, because it's nice to know that time does erase every painful moment in your life :-)

I know that I should make an effort and I know that I should decide any decisions. now everything changed. we have gone our separate way. he has new gf and i don't have one, but i have new crush too. i don't want to tell about my crush..

hah, i get attached to him so much, him? call him gragu. what hurts the most is knowing that he doesn't make a sound that he has a crush on me... so, i'm just trying not to get addicted to him as much as i could. how come? he just came unexpectedly, it's like there's a glimpse of love from my broken heart comes toward me.. have you ever felt that feeling of being wanted? nah, it's just another description of my story.

i think it's enough, i'm just bored and tired and i need to speak up to the world.

thank you, have a blessing ramadhan for muslims around the world.

agt^^