Being Bego

Now I write these shits while he's still busy doing all those activities he should have done after waking up. He's definitely lembu for waking up at almost 12:00 in the afternoon and I'm actually supposed to do the same thing, but my mom kinda like to ruin my sleeping time. So, I insist to understand and finally deal with it. I got almost 5 hours for sleeping and I didn't crave more. As I tried to make myself sleeping, I thought almost everything between me and him. I still remember the first night we spent our Saturday night together, even all the little things we did. I never thought now I'll end up sheepishly imagining that it was me, appearing in his dreams or his thoughts. Hahahahaha that sounds silly but I often spend hours distracting myself not to think of him every time. I've got lots of things to do, but neither of my mind and my heart wants to stop. There are certain things in life you couldn't understand why they have to be happened or why they have to get yourself like this. The moment you try yourself, figuring out what's behind that, the more you understand how precious somethings could be. 

They still linger in my mind, those moments when I have to be with him only, getting hours together to be spent. Our first Saturday night was successfully left me that kind of butterflies on my stomach. I hardly believed that soon it would lead me to the silver lining of us; we are together. I have known every single thing of his habits, even the worst one. I call him autis and it doesn't sound that bad, cause all of our friends say so. The way we got close was so freaking weird, just like us. He doesn't have that capability to express his feelings toward someone, especially a girl. That's why he let me spending hours, days even months to guess what we actually are.

There came time when a friend of mine called ji, asked me to text him instead of grumbling because of having nothing to do. So I eventually did what he asked me to do, without thinking that orientation of having another love story. Actually I was about having recovery time because of breaking up with my 1,5-year-boyfriend. Even though I have known him for such a long time, I usually divide my privacy to him as I know that he is thoughtful guy who is actually stupid and likes to tell joke over silly things. He's humorous that can make me laughing out loud, and at that time I felt he wasn't the right guy whom I could spend hours just to tell the melancholic tragedy and silly love stories of mine. But I was wrong. He was out of my mind. Really, he was shocking. I used to curhat-curhatan and hang out with him in this past 2 years but I rarely tell him everything. I didn't have much time to text him, and texting him everyday never crossed on my mind before. I usually like to curhat-curhatan with another person, despite he is always willing to listen and give me the best advice, I more likely to share things to another person, until ji asked me to tell everything to him, OF COURSE.

I have that capability to show the happiness in that exaggerating way. Now I'm excruciatingly happy. Well, my bones are curved with all those things I'm trying to say to him, I'm too shy to say. I remember the way I awkwardly smiled while I was reading his text, telling me that he would be in my house within minutes, bringing mie ayam robet, my favorite one. We spent almost 6 hours and it felt like turning heaven on earth, but it was hell than heaven because time flew so fast. Spending 6 hours with him was like spending minutes to take a pup. After that I know that we would never be the same us anymore. He made me laugh, even about to burst into tears. We enjoyed seeing 9Gag things and I was happy. We talked over silly things and laughed over silly jokes. Now I still wonder, did he feel the same? 

Another days begun, and finally there came another Saturday night. The difference was I didn't have another Saturday night plan to be spent with him. I was too tired physically after attending my uncle's wedding party. But, he insisted to come, and I finally ended up saying yes. So, I was about to fall asleep when he told me he was already in front of my house. I honestly was too lazy to open him the door though I was caught with all those butterflies on my stomach. We talked like nothing was wrong, and actually there wasn't anything wrong. We discussed almost all the latest news and issues among us until all of a sudden he held my left hand. My face suddenly turned red as I couldn't help of laughing. He sang me a song, my favorite one that I never thought he would do such a honor to me. Basically, I never though he could do such a romantic thing, and he made me believe that he wasn't actually existed. I just could take my deep breath, stupidly covering my red face with khong guan can. He glanced at me, he kept glancing at me, as he said 'I love you' and I kept covering my face, hoping that he wouldn't see my dibegoin face. I said yes finally. Finally.

I always love that essential feeling of being loved. Having some texts from him before going to sleep and going to school. It's not such a new thing to meeting up with these kind of situations. I have had puppy love 5 times. I always love that heartwarming comfort of being needed with his weird ways of needing. I know there will be more years till we simply end up being together forever. My biggest fear now is loosing him. Yet, it's normal to be like this, but I always try to maintain it with reality. I have to be realistic. Yes, I should. Now, I seem don't want to look for another delightful happiness, I'm totally happy being me like this. Thanks for turning my life colorful, just like jamnya Diska.