Random Thoughts

Seriously Random Thoughts.

To tell the truth, life never has any keen capacity to interest me even though I'll never be willing to get chance not living it. I still want to enjoy the times and moments I've treasured in my life although I never expected myself to be born. Life is the cruellest way to kill a soul. Yet all this time, I keep trying to make myself happy.

I always try my best to provide everything I need, to consume good meals, to have productive times, to educate myself, to get proper amount of needs as much as I should. I always make sure that I'm emotionally and physically good enough to survive. Cause I'm widely certain that excellent way of preparation evokes a great result in the end; I expect myself to live the most admirable life people could ever crave.

But in the end, I feel like pointless. I know what I should do. I know what I should complete. And I know that I have to compete. This time I have to be certain of what has impeded me to go forward, to move on, and to live the life. Time flies, nothing could ever stay the same, and life contains plenty of hours and thousand of seconds that keep running fast. I should solve the obstacle and it's all about letting go.

Whenever it comes to letting go, I find it clueless. This is just like a flash of memories come across my mind, like celestial stars dancing through the empty sky; an explosion of moments about plenty of friends who come and go, or times I've spent with some stupid romantic puppy loves.

Those might sound a bit cheesy. In spite of that, I still suddenly remember all the tragic loss I've had, or even the successes and failures I've achieved. Those feelings of being in an excrucating pain, epic gladness, absolute happiness, and mourning sorrow are all mixed up into one. It is very much undescribable.

So whether it causes pain or bliss, I find it difficult to let go. I often ask myself to be that much sincere to let go of the past, and start creating a great future, or at least plan it. I guess I'm always afraid of changes. I'm afraid to be replaced and forgotten. I'm afraid of something unknown. I'm afraid of being uncertain. I'm afraid I can't get what I always expect.

And what would I do know?

How far would life put me through?